Insecure and some ramblings...

So if you know me at all, you know I love my job and have actually been succesful in the last several months. However I have been feeling so insecure lately...my team has been doing a great job, i don't feel like I've made any huge mistakes, but I have this huge fear that I will be fired. I think it's because I'm insecure, not only in my job, but as a person...I don't really buy the whole language of love deal, but if I had to choose one it would be words of affirmation. I need to hear that I'm doing a good job, the managers have all gotten a collective thank you and great job...which is great to hear, but I want to know that I AM appreciated, I want to know if I would be missed, I can handle the truth I just need to hear it...I haven't received bad feedback, however I also haven't received personal good feedback either, so I immediately go to, "well I'm going to be fired, I should just quit now." I realize I can not control or manipulate the situation and ultimatly I need to trust God and that is really hard right now...I guess I write this not to receive compliments on my work ethic or advise on if I should talk to my director, but rather point me to God, just need a reminder that He is in control, He has me exactly where He want's me and will provide for me each day...so if you're reading this and want to leave a comment...point me towards Christ, sometimes I forget, He's all I need!

It's been awhile...

Don't know really where to start, life has been busy, but I think I've fallen into a routine...which for me is a great thing. I enjoy the security and consistency of routine. I wake up in the morning and LOVE my hike up Camelback mountain, it's the best part of my day, I get to clear my head and hear the birds chirp and push myself hard, I'm quite competitive, so I always try to catch the person in from of me no matter how far ahead they are! Sometimes is works, sometimes it doesn't. after my hike I get ready for work and go into the office where for the next 9 or 10 hours I stress and manage 12 people who are all different! We have one goal...get the students financed for school before they start...I've found when you work with people's money, they become quite sensitive! Overall I really enjoy my job, I've worked very hard to be where I'm at and I plan to go up the "ladder." I commute back home for the next 30 minutes and usually walk into a kitchen where my dinner is waiting for me...Andy is such a great husband...and the kitchen is more often than not, CLEAN...even better!! I soooo appreciate him! After dinner we have been watching LOST and American Idol...both of which we are completely addicted to!! That is what we do everyday during the week, we are usually so spent from work, we don't have much energy for anything else.

I love my weekends (as long as I don't work), Andy and I will hike in the morning, sometimes with Aaron and Ashley or my good friend Katie. Then the rest of the day is spent doing chores and watching more seasons of LOST. The best part of the weekend is seeing out friends! I love my girls and spending time with them, last night we did "Holy Yoga," it was great!! I can't wait to do it again! I love love love my girlfriends and I'm so blessed to have each one of them in my life!!

Sundays are generally spent sleeping in like the rest of America, usually we go to church and then my parents for lunch. By nightime we are ready to veg again in front of the TV where Desperate Housewives keeps us, yes even Andy, entertained for at least an hour!

So that's my life as of late...not too exciting...but wouldn't change it for the world, I have a great husband and the best friends ever! I will try not to wait so long before the next update!