Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Insecure and some ramblings...

So if you know me at all, you know I love my job and have actually been succesful in the last several months. However I have been feeling so insecure lately...my team has been doing a great job, i don't feel like I've made any huge mistakes, but I have this huge fear that I will be fired. I think it's because I'm insecure, not only in my job, but as a person...I don't really buy the whole language of love deal, but if I had to choose one it would be words of affirmation. I need to hear that I'm doing a good job, the managers have all gotten a collective thank you and great job...which is great to hear, but I want to know that I AM appreciated, I want to know if I would be missed, I can handle the truth I just need to hear it...I haven't received bad feedback, however I also haven't received personal good feedback either, so I immediately go to, "well I'm going to be fired, I should just quit now." I realize I can not control or manipulate the situation and ultimatly I need to trust God and that is really hard right now...I guess I write this not to receive compliments on my work ethic or advise on if I should talk to my director, but rather point me to God, just need a reminder that He is in control, He has me exactly where He want's me and will provide for me each day...so if you're reading this and want to leave a comment...point me towards Christ, sometimes I forget, He's all I need!

2 comments:

Nicole T said...

Oh Meredith. You are so great. I know other people aren't always good at pointing that out. You just have to know it. And I would kill to have you as my boss.

Miranda said...

God is in control!! Jeremiah 29:11! Proverbs 21:19!! God loves and adores you and no matter what happens He is ALWAYS in control and working for your BEST because He's crazy in love with you!!

I completely understand about the affirmation thing. My boss at the massage school never told us anything good about what we were doing... only ways we could improve and after we'd ask her to tell us positive stuff, she'd come back with "I appreciate you guys" - LAME! I will pray that God would affirm you in your job!