Marriage Retreat

So we just returned from the marriage retreat. Wow, still processing, I never realized how much I dislike affection. Actually it's not that I dislike it, I become SOOOO uncomfortable seeing couples cuddle and hold eachother. I like to sit next to Andy, even hold his hand, I don't like to dance and sway or "melt" into his arms like others were describing it. I think its because to do that requires me to be vulnerable something I thought I had down but realized I don't. It was awkward during communion while Andy prayed...how weird is that, why should I feel weird or awkward. That's one thing I learned and would like to work on.

Next would be the unresolved crap with my family. I never really grasped nor understood how much my relationship with my dad has poisoned my relationship with Andy. I still don't totally get the connection, Andy is NOTHING like my dad, how in the world could I respond to him like I would my dad. It has shown in my inability to trust Andy as a leader and provider. At some point I have to forgive and not allow the sin done against me to dictate or determine my healthiness. There is so much to forgive and so many years of betrayal. I'm scared to start a family and carry this junk with me.

I was reminded how much Andy loves me and is committed to me and the health of our marriage. I love that we can laugh...all the time. I love that he trusts me. I love that he is even-keeled. I love that he is a safe place for me. I love that I am free to express myself, contradict myself and process my thoughts when they don't always make sense. He listens, he listens well and hears what I'm saying or needs even when I haven't verbally communicated it. He is so incredibly tender with me and patient. He hikes with me, even in the morning when he would rather stay in bed. He knows that after a long day at work I just need quiet and some wine and a foot rub. He cooks for me. He cleans the house when he knows someone is coming over. He is committed to our dog, he loves Charlie and won't give up on training him. He makes me laugh like no one else can. I'm feeling more and more safe at giving him access to my heart and the really hard stuff I never even knew existed until I got married. He's earned the right to tell me when I'm being a jerk and I can step back enough because I trust him and see how I've hurt someone. He hates gossip and will redirect the conversation if he thinks I'm going to gossip about someone. I love that. I love him and can't wait to be married to him for 60 years. I love our friends. I love that we have people who are for us and actively praying for us and the health of our marriage. I love Open Door. I remembered how much I love Jesus, He continues to meet every need. He gave me Andy. I love my husband!

Our Super Fun weekend...

It all started on Friday night when the Schanen's and Childers' went to non other than the JOURNEY concert!! It was awesome! We sang and danced and laughed, we all had a good time!!




Then on Sunday we took a trip up to Sedona for a hike with our buddies Ashley and Aaron. They are the kind of friends I can totally be myself with. I LOVE spending time with them, we pretty much laugh the whole time, but what I like is that I can trust who I really I am with them and talk about hard stuff. It was a great hike with great conversation, good food, bad margaritas and at one point a really stinky car! I saw a snake and almost stepped on a tarantula (reminds me of one of Jana's former clients!) and got to go to the top of a fire lookout! We've already planned our next trip...you see I have this book of 100 Arizona Hikes, a life goal is to complete them all, at one point I thought I could do it in a little less than 2 years, it was pointed out to me that would be hiking almost every weekend...so now I've changed it to a life long goal. I'll keep you posted on what I've done...I've completed 5...only 95 more to go!

Beaches' Girls Night

It's been a while since the girls got together, in fact it was the night before little Maddy was born. We all decided it was time to get together and watch the classic movie, "Beaches," we only got through maybe an hour and we just had to start talking. It's so great to have girlfriends to gab with, we talk about everything, our marriages, our houses, our hurts, our happy times and more recently our kiddos! We had a few new additions this girls night, Emolyn and Maddy. It's so much fun to watch my friends be mommy's! They are amazing, patient and totally in love with their girls. Here are some pictures from the evening. By the way I LOVE hosting!!!

Let it be known that Andy artfully displayed the cheese and crackers...he was quite pleased with himself.Everyone's feet were healed...yeah!!The 2 newbies, Madison and Emolyn

Trying to relieve Jessica of her hiccups...it actually worked.

Sweet Miss Emolyn!

I look forward to the next time we can all get together!! Hopefully the rest of the girls can make it next time! I love you guys!

Engagement Anniversary

Sorry it's been so long, I know how much I like to read new stuff, so here is some more new stuff...1 year ago Saturday Andy and I celebrated the day we became engaged...it was soooo much fun. I spent all morning getting pretty, I got a hair cut, color, manicure and pedicure! We went to The Compass Room, we spent a lot of money and time just enjoying ourselves!! It was great. Here are some fun pictures, you can tell we don't know exactly what's appropriate and not in such a fancy place! But we had fun!

our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, we ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? actually, who are you not to be? your playing small doesn't serve the world we are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. nelson mandela

I love this quote

Colorado

Andy and I went to ColoRADo the first week in July, it was awesome!! We did tons of hiking, eating and card playing with my family. The whole side of my mom's family has been going to this area for nearly 20 years. It's beautiful! It's a time we just sit around and catch up with cousins, eat a lot of food and enjoy the outdoors, including bears! My brother and his boyfriend Mike joined us this year. Mike is such a neat guy, we all get along really well with him. He fits in well with our dry sarcastic sense of humor! To be honest I was a little nervous for my extended family to meet Cody and his boyfriend, I didn't know what the reaction would be. I was pleasantly surprised, everyone was friendly towards Cody and Mike. I kinda think when you fall in love with Jesus and that overflows to others how can you judge other peoples choices. I trust God in Cody's life and I'm learning each day what that looks like.

I'll leave you with my favorite joke of the week, "what are the 2 sexiest animals on the farm?"

Andy's Hair Fiasco

So...in our attempt to save money Andy cuts his own hair. Usually this is not a problem, until for a split second he lost his focus. He was trimming around his cute little ears and noticed a small spot that needed additional trimming, so of course he went for it with vigor! And this is what happened! He then quietly asked me to come in a check to make sure he got everything, I began laughing hysterically.

My husband for the next 3 days will look like a Nazi Skinhead, luckily his hair grows fast!!
Ooooohhhh, how I laughed! I love my husband!! We thought tomorrow we'd do mine so we could be matching, what do you think??

June 27

Last night we had our good friends over for dinner John, Leanna and Lily. I've known Leanna for years and she and I were roomates a few years back. It was fun living together because it was right around the same time that she met John and I met Andy, who knew just a few years later we'd all get married and be having dinner together, with the addition of sweet Lily!

Check out their blog...www.machadominute.blogspot.com/...you HAVE to watch the video of Lily laughing!!

On a side note, I'm reading The Shack, an amazing book! The main character looses a child to a brutal abduction and "The Great Sadness" has overcome his life and God invites him to this shack to simply love him and talk with him. It is a profound depiction of what our relationship is like with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit when we choose trust over control of our lives. I have to share this part of the book with you, at the time a few days ago, it brought tears to my eyes, he is in the shack with Papa (God) and they are talking about "The Great Sadness." I'll change the name from Mackenzie (the main character) to mine, "Meredith, I know that your heart is full of pain and anger and a lot of confusion. Together you and I, we'll get around to some of that while you're here. But I also want you to know that there is more going on than you could imagine or understand, even if I told you. As much as you are able, rest in what trust you have in me, no matter how small, okay?"-God

I wanna live my life in that sentence, I want all the pain of my family junk to be OK because of that sentence. I want to trust more and control less, I want freedom and silliness and playfulness, but I feel like I can live in fear, doubt, anger and clutching to anything that brings me quick satisfaction when I'm not trusting Him. God I want to trust you more.

PF Chaings

Last night was a fun evening with an old friend. Her name is Katie, we've known each other more than 10 years now, it's fun to have friends who have known you for so long and still want to be friends!! We were celebrating her very overdue birthday dinner. Being adults now we both lead very busy lives but always find the time to catch up where we left off. We began the evening with a movie and then dinner at PF Chaings...I hadn't been there in ages! I love the food you can always count on ordering a good dinner. This time I ordered the Tam Tam Noodles, a new favorite. It had these big round things that looked like potato slices but where actually noodles....mmmm...so good, Andy already ate my leftovers!

We discussed books, work and the Myers Briggs test, you should all try it. I am an ESTJ, which means extrovert, sensing, thinking and judging. We boiled it down to I was a person who is very black and white about the world, easily distracted by objects or people while in conversation, that I make decision based on thinking through my options...I think that one is wrong and if you know me...you'd probably agree I like to make hasty emotional decisions, which isn't always bad but too many of those types of decisions and I get myself into a mess! It also means that I am an extrovert, really me, and extrovert, I'm always the quiet one sitting in the corner...HAH!

Today is father's day. Andy and I are gonna see "The Happening" and then head over to my parents house for dinner. I wish there was a daughter's day. I would like to make a "shout out" to my good friend Shawn...it's his very first father's day!! Happy Father's Day Shawn!! You are an incredible daddy! I'd feel safe leaving my children with you, in fact when I do have children you can watch all of them while Nicole and I go shopping! Deal?

Meredith

something learned

So I already learned something about blogging...one must proofread! Sorry for all the spelling/grammatical errors, my grade school teacher Mrs. Burke would be so disappointed! Oh well...

My first blog!!

So I start my first blog. I was inspired by the Thompson family...I love reading about Emolyn...I know I'm not a cute little baby but maybe, but I thought I'd give it a shot!

I'll start by explaining this picture, cleary not much needed to explain, but that was one of the funnest days of my life!! It was so beautiful! I love the way Andy is looking at me in this picture, I really just love how he always looks at me, he's so sweet and gentle, things I learn from him!!

The day started, if I remember correctly, going to breakfast with Andy and Nicole. I then went to the Soleil Luna Salon where I got an amazing massage, my hair done and my nails done! It was a perfect day, my good friend Nicole was there to support, love and celebrate with me. It was so special. The picture below is at my shower when I found out she was coming to the wedding!!

So back to the wedding day, after getting all dolled up at the salon, we went back to the hotel to get in our wedding clothes!! It was so relaxed and fun!! Then my dad picked Nicole and I up and off we went to the beach! I don't remember much about what John said but I just remember thinking, I can't believe this is actually happening, up until that point, I truley believed it would never ever happen. But God knew different, He knew my heart, He formed that desire, and then at the right time allowed me to marry Andy who was created for me. I felt so loved by God that day, it was so sweet!

Ta ta for now!! I think I'm gonna like this!